This mortal coil blood rar

Roger Moore as a pirate villain who flies blimps. Again, what are you still doing here? You have a mission my friends. It is to watch this movie.

And it is to make sure that at least 2 of your friends watch this movie. Life is too short to not have enjoyed this masterpiece. And the stories of JC's thighs are too muscly to not be spread. Posted by Tesla at PM 0 comments. Saturday, August 1, No Escape This is one of those VHS tapes that sits on your shelves for year, waiting for the exact night when it is called upon. What is it that finally brings it to your attention? Why now?

And why did it sit in obscurity for so long? Well, for one reason, it looks like some sort of island warfare, 'Lord of the Flies' pic. But the summary tells a different story - a story of futuristic battles, space prisons, and Ray Liotta playing an epic hero.

Lo and behold, it is all of those things. It is set in the future. And there is a space prison. But for some completely unknown reason, the warden of the space prison actually likes to drop his feistiest prisoners off on an abandoned tropical island where they can fight it out amongst themselves. If I personally had to choose between life in a cement space prison versus life on a tropical island, I think I know which way I would lean, even if I did have to smack a few heads to crawl up the prison hierarchy.

But I digress. The point is, most of the movie takes place on an island. And it's an island with warring factions - the ever classic good versus evil, cannibal versus farmers, religious folk versus primitive savages. So get ready for decapitations juxtaposed against inspiring speeches, stabbing people with their own bones versus building a new technological society out of the bounty of nature.

That sort of stuff. And Ray Liotta right in the middle of it. Man, I love Ernie Hudson. All in all, it's a good thing there are so many cool dudes in this movie, be cause there are no women. Like literally, not a single woman is in this movie. Talk about failing the Bechdel test. What's a tropical island without a bikini or two? Well there aren't any juicy coconuts in this flick, but here are a couple other juicy tidbits for you. They should remake it with all CGI, too many characters, and bad jokes, and rake in a billion dollars.

Also, it has a pretty high-bar director at the helm: Martin Campbell. Altogether, not a bad showing. In the end, I think we can let some of the photos tell us the real story. Let's be honest: why haven't you already seen this movie? Posted by Tesla at AM 0 comments. Saturday, April 4, Absolon Well isn't this timely? I mean, I watched this a few months ago and am just now getting around to writing up the post - to be honest, I had no idea how relevant this film would be.

But here we are. Remind me again why people are all hyped up on watching Contagion when they could just be watching this cinematic gem? You want an all-star cast? You got it. That's what I am talking about. You want hot outfits and sets in a post-apocalyptic world? This is the future aesthetic I am all about - one that was clearly modeled after a nightclub.

Cops wearing belly shirts with colorful hair extensions, cops wearing sweatshirts with the iron-on word POLICE across the front And that's just the beginning. Thursday, November 14, Horrorvision It's honestly shocking that it's taken me this long to stumble into the world of Full Moon Features.

As far as I can tell, Full Moon is like the Z-list of the Z-list cult-classic horror film world, where people who want to see Evil Bong and Gingerdead Man also want to see Evil Bong and Gingerdead Man 3 how many of these movies did they even make?! If that sounds appealing to you, don't hesitate - they are all streaming right now on Full Moon's specialty streaming service The film in question, Horrorvision , is just one of the thousands of "no budget films" that Full Moon Feature has made as part of what they call 'guerrilla filmmaking,' meaning, they didn't have permits for filming - they just had to hop out of the car in LA and get the scene done before someone called the cops.

And based on all the pleather people are wearing in this movie, people are calling the cops pretty damn fast. Even of all the Full Moon Features, fans seem to agree that Horrorvision falls out at the bottom of the pile.

I, on the other hand, actually found quite a few redeeming aspects of this VHS that has been idling on my shelf for too long. They stick with you, you know? Or maybe it's the exquisitely written script, with characters named names like Dez and Dazzy saying things like, "You can suck the snotty end of my fuck stick", or, "the only plastic we have here goes on your dick," or perhaps, "As my granny used to say, 'Wish in one hand, shit in the other and see which one fills up first' Of course, the best interaction has to be between Dez and this Blade-character who shows up mid-film: "Society functioned before the advent of technology, deal with it.

I mean, isn't this a conversation we've all had at some point? Even if it is only with our stoned-AF brother down at the beach? At least they were trying! That's more than you can say for most of the multi-million dollar trash they play in theaters these days. This, my friends, is a movie that you want to turn to your friends and talk about, even if it is only to say, "what the fuck did we just watch? Another bonus - the special features at the end of the VHS are actually just as long as the movie itself.

I'm not saying, 'stop your life and see this film,' but are you really paying more money to see another superhero film in theaters? Another straight to VHS beauty. And that list of names. Oh the names. We have a real battle of the B-listers here. I say of course because I was quite impressed, although in hindsight not at all surprised, by the number of reviewers who wrote that they procured this movie just for her. She is in The Rock after all.

The director has a much less impressive list of credentials, heavily marred by a blatant Indiana Jones ripoff - that's more obvious even then stupid Avatar stealing the Pocahontas story and leaving out all the killer music! But seriously, when you put the Highlander, the Vampire Princess, and two rap artists into a movie, I want to see it. I'm going to see it. And see it I did.

This is a movie where a boy can live out his Eurotrash spy dreams in virtual reality VR missions while the vampirically unchanging Bai Ling chases him down in vinyl miniclothes and a blue wig. Seriously, how have I never written about Bai Ling before? This is a movie where, in battle, everyone randomly types as fast as they can, and the code flashes back and forth in some non-sensical non-language.

This is a movie where Coolio is a gunslingin cowboy shooting cops, where everyone wears colored sunglasses indoors, where satellites shoot lightning, and where hurricanes meet artificial intelligence.

This is a movie you want to see. At least once. If you're into that sort of thing I mean. I most certainly am. Look, I'm learning things! I also learned that people were a bit miffed by the opening line of the plot synopsis, "The hottest sex, the coolest technology, the most extreme adventure you've ever experienced. Oh well, good thing I never made it that far - as soon as I saw the cover, it went straight into my VCR!

Sunday, April 22, Creature From the intensely piercing synth music that frenetically starts the producer credits, to the dramatic intro about feuding firms in space, you know this movie is, for lack of a better word, sickkkkk. That's right, I said it - I loved Creature.

Archaeological team disappears after finding a hibernating alien egg The infection spreads And there's that whole cultivating an alien race side plot.

He shines as a huge creep. Very believable. But maybe I'm not so crazy after all. I mean, the special effects crew that worked here was the same in " Aliens ", released just a year later. And with quite a few review titles like, "You don't have to be original to amuse," and "An "Alien" rip-off-so what??? But they're right This movie rocks! And there are some pretty crucial differences between this movie and Alien.

Like the nudity, for one. Download the Qobuz apps for smartphones, tablets and computers, and listen to your purchases wherever you go.

Thirty years after its release, My Bloody Valentine's "Loveless" remains the craziest album of the 90s. This electric monument in the form of a wall of sound was a product of Kevin Shields' deranged mind. It turned the history of rock upside down and remains a major source of inspiration for many musicians from all walks of life. As New Wave unfurled, the post-punk movement represented a tortured, even radical turn. Ahead of technology, composition and stage performance, the Germans proved to the public that robots were also capable of emotion and paved the way for techno, new wave and even hip-hop.

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